I finally finished a project I had beed procrastinating for awhile. It's hard to tell from the pictures, but that is a shadow box and those are the flowers from Mason's casket, a program from the graveside service, and a picture of the casket. I was so nervous to make this because I didn't want to ruin the flowers. They are so delicate, I knew I only had one chance to get it right. I am so happy with how it turned out.
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to share my testimony at a women's conference that our stake relief society put on. It was a great experience, but I am glad it is over! I tend to forget everything I have plannned to say when I get up in front of people, so this was a very prepared testimony. :) And just for journaling purposes, here is what I said...
There is a part that is reffering to a picture, this one. My family gave me this picture and I love it so much!
(The artist is Simon Dewey)
Hello Sisters. I am so grateful for this opportunity to share my testimony with you. I was so excited when I heard the theme of this conference, “In the strength of the Lord, I can do hard things!” This saying has been a part of my life for many years. I grew up under very unusual circumstances. I am the second oldest in a family of ten children. When I was 6 or 7, due to some financial difficulties, our family had to leave our home, and with nowhere to go, five kids, and one on the way, my parents decided to move temporarily into my grandparent’s barn. The barn was being used to store hay, and all the animal feed, and as a tool shed. It consisted of four cinder block walls, two large steel roll up doors, cement floors, and one toilet in the back corner sitting out in the open. We moved in the middle of summer, and it was hot. My parents did the best they could to help make these circumstances better for us all. I remember many nights laying on the floor on our camping pad beds with all my brothers and sisters after my dad had said “goodnight everyone” and flipped the one switch that controlled all the lights in the house, then listening to mice scurrying around with the occasional snap, letting us know that there would be one less mouse running around our beds that night. Through all of this, I never remember a time in my life when my parents didn’t wake us up in the morning for family scripture study, and we always had family prayer and family home evening. When I was about 13, I remember my mom giving a family home evening lesson on doing hard things. She taught us that the Lord has put us here on earth to test us and strengthen us and that throughout our life we would be faced with many trials and “hard things.” Every morning as we were leaving for school in the mad rush of things, you could always hear my mom saying “have a great day, I love you, and remember you can day hard things! “ To which we would almost always reply in a very sarcastic tone, “okay mom, we know, you’ve said it a thousand times.” We were young and naïve and didn’t know how important that advice was. You would not believe the “barn” if you saw it today. It has been twenty years and my parents still live there. It has been completely transformed into a rather unique house with the majority of the work being done by my parents and their ten workers, I mean kids. I learned the value of hard work, and in my young mind, I could do hard things. Life moved on, I grew up, got married, left the barn, and started a family with my husband. Just this last July I found myself lying in hospital bed, waiting to deliver my third child who I had been carrying for nine months, and had just found out that I would not be meeting him that day, he had already returned to live with our Heavenly Father. When my mom came to the hospital, she hugged me, and we cried, she told me that she was so sorry this was happening to me, and then she whispered to me, “You can do hard things.” The only response I had at the time was “I know I can, but I don’t want to.” That’s usually the case with hard things, they’re not things we want to do, or things we ever thought could happen to us, but they do happen, and we are expected to endure these hard things even though sometimes it may seem impossible. That is where the Lord comes in. In the weeks and months after we lost our son, I relied on the Savior more than I ever had in my entire life. I felt as though He was the only one who really understood how I felt. Many times in my life I have heard that life is not fair. I’m not proud to admit it, but there were many times I thought to myself, this is not fair. I was watching other women with their babies, longing for mine and thinking it just wasn’t fair. It took me many weeks and lots of prayer to realize, yeah, life isn’t fair, and we wouldn’t want it to be. Heavenly Father and our Savoir know each of us individually, they love us, and they know exactly what trials and experiences we need to face in order to become the very best version of ourselves. I have learned so much from this experience, things I never thought I needed to learn. I learned to be a better friend, and how to serve selflessly through the example of all the women who served me. I gained a deeper love of the temple and a new appreciation for the temple covenants I had made when I was sealed to my husband for time and all eternity. President Hinckley said,” where is Heaven, it’s not very far, when you are in the temple, it is right where you are.” Every time I visit the temple I am able to feel the love of my Savior, I am reminded of his wonderful plan, and He reminds me that everything will be ok if I put my trust in Him. I feel the closeness of Heaven, I feel the sweet spirit of my baby, and I know he is there, and I know I will meet him someday. I know there are many women listening that have suffered similar experiences to mine, and women, who have lost children at every different stage of pregnancy, and women who suffer with not being able to get pregnant, and women who have lost their precious children. These are all hard things. It is very comforting for me to look at this beautiful picture and to think of all these children in the loving care of our Savior. He is taking good care of them, and He needs them just a little bit longer. He has a plan for all us and for them. The Savior came to earth and suffered for our sins so we would not have to suffer these hard things by ourselves. We can use his strength to endure anything that is placed in our paths on our journey home. With the Lord’s strength, I know I can do hard things, and you can too. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
